


despite my empty mouth the words are in my mind

by ReddieOrNot (social_reject)



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Blow Jobs, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 00:09:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14007846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/social_reject/pseuds/ReddieOrNot
Summary: The night was growing old by the time their breathing had picked up and Eddie had whispered into Richie’s shoulder three of the most dangerous words he’d ever muttered. I love you had never tasted so forlorn, had never rolled off his tongue in such a foreign yet honest way. Richie’s skin was salty sweet to the taste but burning cold as Eddie pulled away, praying that he hadn’t heard those words over the sounds of his own moans ripping from his trembling body. Eddie wasn’t sure if it was the moment; the moonlight casted in through their dorm window illuminating Richie’s body in a lurid glow, everything intensified under the cover of the night, or if it was because he truly meant the words.





	despite my empty mouth the words are in my mind

**Author's Note:**

> This work may not be reposted or translated. 
> 
> Title from Adele’s song “First Love”.

Eddie’s hands glided over the smooth expanse of Richie’s skin, the heat of his body emanating off him and making Eddie shiver. Richie was always soft with rough edges, a loud mouth with important things to say and even when Eddie thought he hated him that hatred was always dipped in gold and shining with the truth. Eddie never truly hated Richie- he feared him, was jealous of him, was scared that Richie had everything Eddie didn’t and would take more. Richie was brash and bold and said things others were too afraid to voice. Over the course of knowing Richie Eddie had slowly realized that even if Richie did have everything, he deserved it. What once was a raw and seething need for a fuck and nothing more had turned to something slower and warmer, languid movements and steady rhythms that thrummed like Eddie’s content heartbeat.

Eddie’s hands dipped under the sheets, never breaking contact with Richie’s skin as he let them roam, the pads of his fingertips feather soft and barely noticed by a half asleep Richie but electrifying to a fully awake Eddie. He’d just said he loved Richie in the heat of the moment- when passion was clouding his better judgement with tendrils of red and he couldn’t see past the moment of pure bliss they were both working towards. Richie had thrown his head back as his hips kept a steady rhythm and Eddie’s hands grabbed at the curve of his hips, Richie’s previously bruised neck contrasting against the white walls. Muted blue and fresh red littered his ivory skin and settled deep within Eddie’s bones as he knew it was his lips that had painted him those sinful colors.

The night was growing old by the time their breathing had picked up and Eddie had whispered into Richie’s shoulder three of the most dangerous words he’d ever muttered. I love you had never tasted so forlorn, had never rolled off his tongue in such a foreign yet honest way. Richie’s skin was salty sweet to the taste but burning cold as Eddie pulled away, praying that he hadn’t heard those words over the sounds of his own moans ripping from his trembling body. Eddie wasn’t sure if it was the moment; the moonlight casted in through their dorm window illuminating Richie’s body in a lurid glow, everything intensified under the cover of the night, or if it was because he truly meant the words.

Richie paused only momentarily- a fraction of a second stopping Eddie’s heartbeat all together- but continued on as if nothing had been said or done. Eddie was inside his own head after that, running in circles as he contemplated if Richie had heard it, if he meant it, if maybe just maybe Richie felt the same. Eddie had let out a breath which was disguised as just another labored pant as they continued on, Richie leaning into Eddie to trail kisses from the line of his jaw to the sensitive spot on his neck. Eddie’s hands had gripped Richie even tighter- trying in a desperate attempt to bring him closer to him even though it was physically impossible to get any closer.

Eddie looked at Richie now, his swollen lips pouted and tiny tufts of breath escaping him in a serene daze, eyes closed but body moving restlessly about the twin sized bed. There was never enough room in the dorm beds for two fully grown men but somehow as the year had run along and their casual fucks had turned to something different and Richie had asked Eddie to stay with him on a lonely night, they’d found a way to manage it. They were a pile of limbs and entanglement throughout the night, sweat riddled skin and awkward positions that would leave a crick in Eddie’s neck in the morning but it was worth it to hear the even breathing of Richie and to feel him tucked into his side.

Richie shifted, turning so his back was to Eddie and Eddie’s hand fell from him; feeling the abandonment he immediately replaced the touch by sinking down further and placing a light kiss to the back of Richie’s neck before wrapping an arm around his waist and letting his head fall to the mattress in defeat. He already knew he would not be sleeping tonight, his mind wasn’t capable of turning off after exhibiting such reckless behavior. Three words could make or break the whole dynamic of their ‘relationship’- if either of them could venture out far enough to openly call it such. Whatever they were- Eddie knew they were hanging precariously in the balance of fuck buddies and something more- he knew those words could destroy them.

Eddie was correct in the assumption that he wouldn’t sleep that night, he wasn’t sure that his eyes had closed for more than a few seconds at time. He was spinning but motionless save for the occasional blink of his eyelids. Dread had built up in his chest and sunk into his stomach, twisting it uncomfortably as he ran through every possible scenario come morning time. He settled for it happening one of three ways. The first way; Richie wouldn’t broach the subject and Eddie would wither away in his own burning curiosity, left to a lifetime of wonder. The second way; Richie would tell Eddie he heard and the awkwardness of unrequited ‘love’ would set in, thus driving a wedge between whatever it was they had built. The third and final way; Richie would say it back to Eddie. 

Morning came slowly yet all too quickly for Eddie. The alarm on Eddie’s phone had gone off and he’d cursed himself out for forgetting to turn it off. He reached over, trying to be careful so as to not jostle Richie but the confines of their shared bed was small and it was no easy feat. Richie was already waking as Eddie managed to shut the alarm off, turning back to meet Richie’s tired gaze as he flopped his body over.

“G’morning,” he greeted, voice gravelly from the morning and raw from the previous night.  
Eddie smiled lightly, replying to him as easily as he could, trying with all of his effort to not sound as perturbed as he truly was. “Morning, Richie.”

Richie nuzzled into Eddie, nosing at Eddie’s collarbone and burying his face in the crook of his neck, gangly arms coming to wrap around him. Eddie gulped back the anxiety he felt tugging at his chest and pulled the covers that had slipped off of them sometime in the jostle of the repositioning back up. Richie’s breath hit Eddie’s neck, sending heat all through his body, a simmering feeling settling inside Eddie as Richie let his teeth graze over his skin and then pull away with a tired smirk.

“Ed?” Richie questioned, long and slow breaths escaping him before biting his lip.

“Yes?” Eddie asked, anxiety coating the word and an overtired delirium almost pushing Eddie to the brink of not caring what Richie asked him next- not quite enough to override the distress but almost enough.

Richie quirked his head to the side and licked his lips, slowly settling his teeth into biting down on the lower lip gently before releasing and letting out a shaky breath. “Do you really love me?”

Eddie blinked long and hard after those words escaped Richie so shakily. He’d had all night to try and figure it out but now in the moment, he just knew what the answer was. There was no need to contemplate- not when Richie was staring back at him with shining eyes and disheveled hair that Eddie yearned to run his hands through, to tug on and mess up even more.

“Yes.”

Richie smiled and nuzzled back into Eddie, leaving him unsatisfied and confused. The scenario hadn’t played out in any of the ways Eddie had imagined it over his grueling night. It wasn’t exactly awkward but there was a pulsing need for Richie to say something- anything.

“Do you- do you love me?” Eddie wondered, feeling the power dynamic shift and all of it rest in Richie’s hands. Eddie was out of his element in that moment, vulnerable and willing the weight of his world on another’s shoulders as he waited, the silence tearing him apart and making him fill the void with chatter that could negate all the progress they had made. “You don’t have to say it back, it’s really not a big deal. You know it’s just a word like- I say a lot of words in a given day…”

Richie propped back up and shut Eddie up with the press of their lips connecting. Richie broke away and came back to Eddie to punctuate each word as if it were its own sentence. “I. Love. You.”

Eddie couldn’t help the sloppy grin that overtook him as Richie continued to pepper kisses on him- from his mouth to his cheeks and down his neck, shifting so the blankets wrapped around them would slide down his back as he straddled Eddie, gaining a better position to continue to wander with his kisses. Eddie closed his eyes, feeling the weight of his sleepless night tugging at them and the tranquil sensation of Richie’s mouth putting him at ease. As Richie ventured lower and the memories of demands and control tingled Eddie’s lips he bit back and let his hands entangle in Richie’s bedhead hair, encouraging him to continue but letting him pick and choose what it was he wanted to do.

Richie placed kisses down Eddie’s chest, gazing up at him with lust clouded eyes as he smirked into the kisses and scooted down lower, the arch of his ass enticing but out of reach. Eddie could almost feel the swell in his hands, so many times Richie had pressed back into his touch, greedily taking as much as Eddie would allow him. Richie had successfully worked his way down Eddie’s body silently, lips roaming his inner thighs and teasing at the soft skin, Eddie knowing that if given the chance Richie would not be able to resist the temptation of marking him up- putting a claim on him in a way- and Eddie understood that all too well.

Eddie found pleasure in the way Richie would either desperately try to hide the markings on his skin or show them with pride, the decision made hastily the morning after their escapades. Eddie’s body was exhausted but reactions won over as Richie teased at his cock, fingers gripping Richie’s tresses with new gusto and a broken breath shuddering out of him as Richie found new enjoyment in their game. Eddie had never let the control be in Richie’s hands for this long, had never given up the power in an attempt to solely feel pleasure.

Eddie shifted, trying in a failed attempt to make Richie take more of him in, craving the feeling of his mouth, his aching body desperate for it. Richie pulled away slightly, leaving a belated moment of need to build up in Eddie before taking all of him in in one solitary movement. Eddie’s whole body arched, hands leaving Richie’s hair in favor of gripping the sheets with white knuckles and the determination to last as long as possible settling into his throbbing body. His heartbeat was erratic and felt low in his stomach as Richie hallowed his cheeks and slowly let his head bob up and down driving Eddie closer and closer to the edge.

“Richie,” he groaned out, unaware that he was able to articulate anything at such a point in their activities. “Faster.”

Richie obliged Eddie’s request willingly, Eddie’s words toeing the line of a request and demand but in such a blissed out state he couldn’t blame himself for needing more. Richie continued with renewed vigor and soon enough Eddie could feel his release teetering, not caring that he had once thought he wanted the moment to last. He was way past the edge as Richie sank down one last time and one hand went to grip his thigh roughly, fingers printed into his skin and forming bruises that would burn with the remembrance of this very moment for days to come. Eddie’s release was sweet and Richie’s lips were on his soon enough, the taste of himself and three words lingering when Richie fell back onto the bed, eyes flickering to the side to melt into Eddie’s own gaze.

Eddie pushed a strand of hair out of Richie’s face, hands lingering as he let out a breath. “I really do love you.”

“And I love you too.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? Suggestions?  
> 


End file.
